


Darcy Lewis, Cat Lady

by Stillsixpm



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Cat!Darcy, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 11:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14331741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stillsixpm/pseuds/Stillsixpm
Summary: The title might be a bit misleading.But Catwoman was taken and Catgirl is more of the same.This is not a story about Darcy Lewis and her 17 cats. She’s still pretty much zero help to Jane. Because cats don’t make good interns.





	Darcy Lewis, Cat Lady

**Author's Note:**

> Meant to post for national pet day!  
> Not to be taken seriously, one bit.  
> Chapters will likely be short, updates sporadic, and plot nonexistent.
> 
> Cats are North America’s most popular pets: there are 73 million cats compared to 63 million dogs. Over 30% of households in North America own a cat.

Daniel Benson in Human Resources thought that he had his fair share of strange encounters in the past few years. Living in New York was itself an eye-opening experience. And while he wouldn’t yet consider himself a jaded New Yorker, he had witnessed enough otherworldly occurrences in the past few years for him to accept odd things in stride.

Working at Avengers Tower was less exciting than he had expected, however. It was much like any other office environment, he supposed, albeit with a little more superhero water cooler talk. To his disappointment, being in HR afforded him little contact with the Avengers. He had yet to meet one face to face, but he still had his fingers crossed for a Captain America sighting.

So it was without much trepidation that when Benson entered his boss’s empty office to drop off a spreadsheet, he dared to peek in the file cabinet to check his latest performance review.

 Much to his surprise, there was a woman nestled in the cabinet between files H through K, sitting atop the now rumpled and ripped paperwork and looking back at him as though he were the one trespassing. And he was, but he also wasn’t sitting in a file cabinet.

 Although momentarily dumbfounded, he managed a commanding tone. “What are you doing?”

“What are you doing?” She asked back in a bored drawl.

The nerve. “I work here!” He sputtered indignantly.

“Here, in this drawer?” She asked incredulously as though he was the absurd one.

“What? Of course not!” He couldn’t tell if this was some elaborate prank.

“In this office, then?” Her tone was bored but her eyes were knowing.

He didn’t need to answer that. “Why are you in the file cabinet?”

“Why are you in the file cabinet?” She threw his words back at him lazily, examining a manicured fingernail.

He huffed and sputtered some more but ultimately had no answer for that, so he directed his attention to the mess she had made. “Clean this up!” He snapped his fingers at the files imperiously. He certainly wouldn’t take the blame for that, because no one was going to find out that he had been there. And if this person—probably a temp— knew what was good for her, she would do as she was told and keep her mouth shut.

Leaving the strange girl to sit there in the file cabinet, he closed the office door behind him covertly and put her out of his mind.

* * *

The second time he encountered the woman, he didn’t notice her until it was too late.

Benson was having a particularly busy day. He was rushing to conduct the latest round of sensitivity training, arms full of papers. Absently, he noted that the hallway was quite busy and that he had to be careful maneuvering around people.

In his haste, he didn’t notice the woman approaching as they were about to cross paths. She didn’t so much run into him accidentally as she did bump her entire side against him firmly—and deliberately. Either way, his papers went flying and he lost what little patience he had left.

“What is wrong with you?” He yelled. She didn’t even make a move to help him gather his paperwork. The rude woman just looked back at him blandly and even had the gall to step on a piece. At that he snapped, trying to rip the paper right out from underneath her. “Get your feet off that paper, you clumsy—!”

“Son, that’s no way to treat a lady,” Over his shoulder, Benson heard the stern tone of Captain America’s voice and stiffened.

“Captain Rogers!” Benson scrambled to his feet, trying to grab and organize as many papers as he could. The woman had already evaded his grasp and was watching the exchange with a bored look—her default expression, it seemed. “I, that is, she...” he withered under the hero’s glare. This was not how their meeting was supposed to have been!

The Captain frowned at him in disapproval and Benson was just crushed. Mumbling an apology, he scooped up the remaining paperwork from the floor, not bothering to recapture any semblance of order and slunk away. As he made his retreat, Benson took one last look at what would probably be his last sight of Captain America so close.

Captain Rogers’s demeanor had brightened considerably when he turned his attention to the woman. He ran his knuckles along her jaw, from ear to chin, which she leaned into shamelessly. Benson could faintly hear him call her sweetheart and he ground his teeth at the unfairness of it all.

* * *

Daniel Benson wasn’t obsessed; he was determined. The woman had made a mess of his boss’s office and embarrassed him in front of his childhood hero. He had to find out who she was and figure out how to get rid of her. He hunched over his work laptop and read through the information on her he had dug up.

Her name was Darcy Lewis. She had an incomplete degree in Political Science from Culver University, where she met Dr. Jane Foster. She had an internship with the astrophysicist in New Mexico, where she had been when the Asgardians had made first contact. She continued on as Dr. Foster’s intern in Tromso, London, Reykjavik, Borneo, and now in New York.

He brushed at his collar irritably and seethed when he picked away yet another long, dark hair with his index finger and thumb. He had been finding these long strands of hair everywhere lately.

There were some redacted bits of information that he couldn’t access, but in sum, her file was as unremarkable as she was. It would be short work curtailing any more of her nonsense. From what he could find, there was also no evidence that she was dating Captain Rogers, but it was clear from their exchange the other day that they were friendly.

He doubled clicked an unlabeled folder, about to call it a day, when multiple images of her—absurd, frankly unflattering images—immediately flooded his screen, all reading the text, “DARCY WUZ HEER”.

He slammed his laptop shut in alarm. She was on to him.

* * *

Monitoring the security feeds might be a less confrontational approach, he decided. If she could be covert, so could he. The security guard he convinced to let him go through hours of footage swiped at his phone and picked at his ear with a pinky. Benson wrinkled his nose.

“There! Did you see that?” He pointed repeatedly at the security camera screen. Lewis had just sprinted across the hall again for no apparent reason. The entire floor was dark and empty. The monitor read 3:28am.

“Yeah. So what?” The guard didn’t bother to glance up from his phone. He had lost any interest about 20 minutes in.

“What is she doing?” Benson wailed. Wait a minute. “Did you see that? Rewind that feed!”

“Buddy, I got things to do,” he complained but did as he was told. The man was a liar. His job was a joke. There were fewer places more secure than the Tower.

The video paused just as Lewis turned to look towards the camera. The dull greens and dark grey hues of the night vision didn’t quite capture every minute detail, but there was only one Benson fixated on. For a brief instant that was now captured onscreen, the woman’s eyes glowed in the dark. “There.” He gestured triumphantly to the screen. “Do you see this?”

The guard waved off his victorious moment. “Glasses, man. They capture the glare.”

Benson wouldn’t be deterred from his discovery. He made a copy of the entire nighttime episode for his own records.

And although he had been successful in finding something incriminating on the woman, he feared what this might mean. When he had begun watching hours after hours of footage of her mundane life, he figured she would confirm his every underwhelming expectation. Now for the first time, Benson was worried that Darcy Lewis might be more than she appeared to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Is she super?   
> Steve seems to think so.
> 
> This is what I’ll be writing in between more installments of Adventures in Diplomacy.


End file.
